It is so bizarre to think that I'll be taking a 9 hr test tomorrow. I am glad to be finished soon. I've reached that nadir in studying where it's unbearable to read any more information. I'm taking today easy, although I've taken the past few days pretty easy. I have my first Meetup tomorrow-- an outdoor concert, Albuquerque and Santa Fe this weekend, and preparing for Seattle!
I am definitely scared, but I have to keep reminding myself that if I'm not scared, then it's not worth it. There would be nothing to gain from the experience. I'm pleasant, intelligent, and capable of improving. I can't understand how fearless I was the first time I went to NY by myself. I got lost at night without cell service and still figured my way back-- walking from the train station to the taxi hut and catching a ride with a cabbie to the hotel. Now, I'm nervous about not having a car in Seattle or where to buy groceries or what I'll even eat. Something about maturity that heightens your sensitivity to logic. Or perhaps it is the prolonged period of discomfort these last few years making me yearn for stability and familiarity. Whatever it is, I'm hoping for a second phase where these nerves become galvanized or confidence comes easier. Perhaps that's what everyone is talking about when you enter your 30s. They usually say how glad they are to be done with their 20s.
Definitely needing to fit in some yoga and early sleep tonight.
I hear you about the fearlessness! The whole time I was in Pennsylvania, I was thinking 'Oh God, if I die in a car accident here because of all this rain... How will my body make it back to Texas?!' I wish I could visit you before you go or even in Seattle! So difficult finding times that work. Hoping 4th year is easier to plan! I hope you have plenty of rest and GOOD LUCK tomorrow!
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