I'm starting to wonder if I'm experiencing the onset of depression. However, it's just been a month since the end of a relationship, and it could still just be grief.
I've been staying up slightly later (after midnight) and waking up later (around 9am), so I don't think I'm oversleeping, but it's definitely different than my usual schedule. I think I will try to make efforts to go to bed at 11 tonight and see if that changes anything. It's also super comfy and cozy in bed, what with the weather bringing the outside temp to 27F.
Eating has been getting better although I hardly feel like cooking. I've been eating soups and baked fish. Not early enough calories, but I do feel it's improving.
Studying was difficult last night. I didn't feel like it and opted to watch Celeste and Jesse Forever. I do get worried when I don't study, but perhaps the break was needed. I had spent Sunday in a 6hr straight study session, so maybe I'm overwhelmed.
I'm most dissatisfied with not having people to hang out with or talk to. I called Liz yesterday as I was driving home, and I was just so angry trying to get out of the parking lot (super jammed) and anxious from opening the apartment gate and this stranger creeped in!
Even school was kind of a bust. Everyone wanted to talk about Step and how to study for it. I was growing annoyed by the topic. I really detest talking up how to do something. People are different and they have different ways in which they study. If you don't know yourself by now, I suggest you find a study plan from Kaplan or DIT. But please do not project to me how you are so overwhelmed and expect me to feel the same way. I too am overwhelmed, but I refuse to get anxious about it to the point that I worry more about studying than actually studying. I made an aside to another classmate about how I don't appreciate the neuroticism, and I'm sure I just got slapped with a rude or bitchy label by the group. In an effort to connect to another human being, I may have alienated myself to a group of people. Blergh. Maybe today will be different.
It's strange. The amount of time that S and I shared a bed was quite few, but I really miss it. I still sleep on my half of the bed out of habit. I kind of even miss when SYS would sleep in my bed. At times like these, I wish I had a roommate.
I'm planning to go to yoga tomorrow evening. Maybe I'll meet some new people there.
Soups and baked fish sound so good right now! I'm no better with my 3 pound bag of pistachios and Hershey's nuggets stationed at my desk! And I get what you mean about the other people complaining. Don't sweat any label, I think I get the standoff-ish label all the time!
ReplyDeleteThe sleeping arrangements are hard to adjust to after you have company :( I put two pillows on my left and right side as a substitute, maybe give it a try? And yoga sounds fun, I would love to sign up for something like that! Hope you meet cool new people too