I feel better.

It's a relief to say that after a month, if I were to make a graph, I could trace a positive linear regression despite the microscopic blips that would otherwise affect that trajectory. I am still sad at times, but it's not the overwhelming despair that shrouded the new possibilities of my future. I forced myself to get uncomfortable in efforts to get better. I dragged my feet out the door to attend class and be surrounded by people. Although I am still awkward with some people, my anxiety about my interactions doesn't affect me nearly as much as it did before. I've found meaning in reading lately. I've tore through The Defining Decade and the coming of age memoir, I Love Yous Are for White People in the last week. Now, I'm working on something a bit tougher to chew on, but arguably more satisfactory - Rollo May's Love and Will. There's a lot to benefit from removing yourself from the immediate picture and contextualizing it on a world scale, which is what this book is encouraging me to think about.

With Valentine's Day looming, I dreaded having to run across bouquets and chocolates at the grocery store. However, it takes me back to Valentine's two years ago when I was single for the first time in 5 years. I remember how I engrossed myself to finally use these Valentine's Day cards that I had won in a contest. I even renewed some old friendships through some cookies and brownies. It was the happiest I had felt about the holiday and the most satisfactory. Running across a new challenging recipe has encouraged me to try this again this year.

I'm finally feeling better in regards to my health as well. This cold has lasted two weeks, but I finally have the resolve and strength to start hopping out of bed again. I'm planning on attending a yoga class this Thursday and purchasing a 6 class pass in hopes of continuing exercise, something that I have been avoiding and forgetting how great it is. Hopefully, I'll come out with sculpted arms!

There's been a lot of inner construction with me, and I'm glad that I used this time to get better.